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Posting after a break of 2 days, did you all miss me? 

I can't really take you through how the past few days have been but if I were to sum it up it would be the slowest few days making every second feel like a minute long where all I did was question everything in existence or rather anything my mind could comprehend (so none?) basically your average post nut clarity Tuesday only it was a weekend.

I feel like we place all this importance on the weekend, postpone so much crap for the weekend because we would have more free time to do it but when the weekend is there you don't want to spend your free time doing work, no. You want to spend your time doing nothing but wallow in self-pity and have all those serious thoughts about getting your life back on track but all that ever gets you is thinking more and not the fruitful kind of thinking no you think about how you can't say you'll "get your life back on track" because it was never on track to begin with so what you want to do is you"Wanna get better" 

I have 1306 liked songs on my spotify and the one song that showed up on shuffle right now is

Lyric video 

I sort of lost the point I was going to make but that's okay because this blog is a safe space for me to shitpost and you're reading this crap for your obvious scat fetish ;) (glad I could be of assistance) 

You go around spending your spare time on trying to contemplate the reason for your existence because you have this little belief that everything has a purpose that they must fulfil and you need to find yours too otherwise you have no reason and your existence isn't validated.

This entire blog just feels like a way for me to improve my typing speed and also talk to myself in a more efficient manner instead of the usual getting in my own head where all the thoughts make it too chaotic too focus on one thing at a time. 

At this point I am just typing because I can, not because there's a reason for it, you ever do things like that? like switching on the tv because you can and pay attention to anything but the tv and so to have something to focus on you pull out your phone fully knowing that this phone is a waking reminder that your entire existence can be summed into what you have done which is basically nothing because you compare it

you compare everything, even when you don't want to because that's how you assign a value to things you decide the importance of things by comparing, 'this is better so the other must be worse' 

Bro, I really am just typing anything this is nothing but an incessant need for validation which must have snuck right by you, this is literally a blog where i keep talking pretending its therapeutic but if all i wanted was to talk with no one interrupting me there would have been no need for me to post this on my story and spam it in a few disc servers 

I used so many words to seem intellectual and I don't even know if I used them in the right manner.

How do you know if the people you have found are the right people?

it felt good ranting nonesense, like i really have expressed the privilege i was born with where i didn't have to worry about paying the bills the only thing that would top this correctly would be where talk about social anxiety and depression but me saying all this would only invalidate your feelings how you feel, what you're going through, I know nothing about your life, I don't even know who is reading this, you have your own issues to deal with and the last thing you wanted was someone on the internet calling your problems a privilege 

so in conclusion 

I will do what I want, keep on posting maybe or just go off the internet focus on a career, getting a life, being happy and help out others more or maybe just maybe i go spend the next few hours listening to music, cry a bit and then hit you with another post tomorrow dear reader 

(: see you tomorrow