Supercalifragilisticexpialidotious

 I don't know what to talk about which is a lie I do have something in mind which is why I'm writing this right now. I am average wanker, the most average among wankers, yes more of us exist but are too busy practicing what we preach and haven't been in touch for a long time now. Before i was average wanker people on discord knew me as  strives to be average someday a username i actually felt was perfect at describing me a username that would get a mention from a total stranger on the internet saying "username checks out" or at least i thought it would but i was wrong? i used to think (and maybe still do?) that average people have it all together, unlike myself. I got a compliment today, it was a compliment for my "observing power" which was rather ironic because most of the time i am out doing the aforementioned "observing" its just me getting in my head because every single thing is so fucking overwhelming i have many problems i need to work ...

I'm tired Tired.

 you are standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive you wait and wait many stand by your side waiting for their bus  their busses arrive and they board them onwards to their different routes leaving you alone once again you try to hold on hope that your bus will show up soon but now you begin doubting yourself maybe you have been waiting at the wrong stop all along what do you do now keep hoping that your bus will be there soon or do you go to another stop  because where you are meant to be is not the same direction as you want it to be?

22:35 Imagine not having any rigid religious beliefs, all but one, that there exists a higher power, a divine power which can't be called an entity, which is bigger than anything and everything, simply unfathomable. I have spent the last few days in a slump, I lied to myself a lot pretending to not know why I am in this situation because confrontation always leads to further complication doesn't it. We all have to have a "purpose" in life otherwise we wouldn't be here right now?  A slight change in perception could make something like life either immensely complex or really simple Too many little incidents have happened in a few days and I have looked at them as signs from this annoying power which is supposedly omnipresent, but in retrospect could these incidents just be slightly irregular coincidences and nothing more.  I look at them as signs because my subconscious wants to, does that make me an optimist or a miserable fool here? Expecting something often lead...